Your Own Worst Enemy

I am on a personal quest to lose weight (although is it really personal when your doctor also recommends it?). So far I’ve done pretty well, having lost nearly 25 since November 2008. I would still like to drop another 15, but and the journey beyond the plateau is so far proving rather treacherous. Every health article I’ve read says that the last 10-15 pounds are the toughest to lose, and I’m finding that to be frustratingly accurate. And it's not just about physical motivation anymore. It's every bit as much about staying emotionally strong through the setbacks. That's getting harder, too.
In an unusual twist, instead of my typical prolific de-scribe-tion, I opted to illustrate it for you instead (you’ll understand why I stick to words, lol):

*click on the picture for a bigger view*

Of course, a true visual artist would not have resorted to such a prosaic practice such as in-picture-narrations, but since I’ve never labeled myself as such, I’m exempt from any such restrictions :-)

But in all seriousness, I’ve really been struggling with overcoming the different (primarily emotional) trials that accompany the weight loss process: the cravings that practically bludgeon you to death, leaving you battered and bruised as you reach for the refrigerator handle; the leaden guilt that sits in your stomach afterwards, the wounded warrior. I find myself making excuses not to exercise, when I know perfectly well that I’m just being lazy. Or worse, I don’t even bother with making excuses, and simply do nothing about the sluggishly sedimentary lifestyle I’ve so easily slipped back into. Too easily. It’s embarrassing, frustrating, and the gateway to a depression I’ve been battling for years. There’s a dragon sitting in front of that gate, and it breathes two different fires: one propels me forward, nipping at my heels and encouraging me to keep moving, keep climbing that mountain until all the extra weight is gone and I’m standing at the peak of my success; the other fire burns me, flushing my face and filling me with the firey shame of failure. That second fire immobilizes me, melds me to the side of a cliff from which it feels there is no escape.

Anyway, I recently came across this nifty weight-loss ticker thingy, and I decided that it was time to up my ante. If I got the general blogosphere involved, if I garnered up a number of witnesses, I would have no choice but to get the weight-loss show on the road. Gotta give your audience something to see, after all! (Though, on that note: I will not be posting any before-after pictures. At least not part of a set. The ‘befores’ will remain stashed away in the recesses of a past I do not care to dig up. The ‘afters’ will come as I see fit to post visual tidbits of my life. There’s such a post coming up, actually, as soon as I find the time to get everything in order!).

So now I have my very own weight-loss ticker clock! Here it is…

Keep checking back (I’ll try to remember to post when you should do so) for updates on my progress. Now that it's officially summer vacation and I have more daily freedom, I'm determined to catapult out of this rut and hit the ground running (or biking, or jumping on the trampoline, or heading to zumba class...). Wish me luck! (I'll need it).